The Internet at the Speed of Thought

Bad Day? Check Out These Hilarious G-Rated Jokes

at 11:09 am | By

“Why can’t Ray Charles see his friends? Because he’s married.”

When we were kids, almost every stupid joke made us giggle. Knock-knock’s and simple puns doubled us over in a fit of laughter. But as we get older our humor gets darker and it’s harder to make us laugh. We all enjoy some blue jokes once in awhile, but that doesn’t mean clean humor can’t still be entertaining. Awesomely, hilarious Redditors supplied these jokes that you should put in your pocket for Thanksgiving dinner and phone calls to your nieces and nephews.

man whispering jokes to lady laughing

Credit: Ollyy/Shutterstock

“What’s the dumbest animal in the jungle? The polar bear.”

Popemobile

pope francis waving 2014

Credit: neneo/Shutterstock

“So the pope is SUPER early for his flight. He asks his driver on his way to the airport if he could drive around for a while because they have time to kill and he hasn’t driven a car since becoming the pope. Naturally he’s a bit rusty so he’s driving poorly when suddenly he sees police lights behind him. He pulls over and when the officer comes up to the window his eyes go wiiiide. He says to the pope “Hold on for a minute” and he goes back to his car to radio the chief.
Cop: Chief we have a situation. I’ve pulled over an important figure.
Chief: How important? A governor or something?
Cop: No sir. He’s bigger.
Chief: So, what? a celebrity or something?
Cop: More important, sir.
Chief: A major politician?
Cop: No sir, he’s much more important.
Chief: WELL WHO IS IT!?
Cop: Well actually I’m not sure. But the pope’s his driver.”

-elilo

Put it in a pun

old sneakers with holes in them

Credit: Lane V. Erickson/Shutterstock

“Is there a hole in your shoe?
No
Then how’d you get your foot in it?”

-Dastardlydoom

“Oooh, stepped right into that one!” (dabr66)

“And stepped left into it too. (AlbertaBoundless)

“Sneaked that one right in.” (Dood567)

“This thread is laced with puns.” (gaybodybuilder)

“This thread hurts my sole.” (Shadowmant)

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