What's holding it back?
When couples first get together a lot of them go at it like bunnies all the time… But eventually it fizzles out. What happens to cause the sexy times to be less exciting? Is it getting older, or is it just the fact that you’re getting bored with your partner? These Reddit users open up about what it really is.
We’re both 58 and we’ll be married 38 years in July. Our last intimate encounter took place in August 2002. She was diagnosed with a mental disorder after almost successfully committing suicide during that time frame. She was prescribed several medications that resulted in multiple health issues and is completely asexual. She took care of me and the children in our younger days when I was in the military and frequently deployed. It’s my time to take care of her. She understands I still have needs and would probably look the other way, but I keep my promises. (pyungshin)
After the birth of our second child, sex became significantly less frequent. When it did happen it was scheduled by her choice. Like meet in the living room at 9pm. (After our second child she insisted that I sleep in a different room) All of a sudden I was hit with a dry spell and I told her I wanted some “lovin”. She preceded to tell me, “Go buy a DVD and take care of it yourself.” I waited about two months. Then asked her again. To which she responded with, “Go find a girlfriend. I don’t care.” Two weeks later I found she was having an affair. Divorce is currently in the works. (Takita)
I gave up.
We’ve been together since the mid 80s, so there’s that. I still find her very attractive, but she has 0 interest. Until last fall we were still doing it, but over the past four or five years it had gotten to the point where I could tell she was only doing it for me, and I began to feel as though I was essentially raping her. I never forced myself on her, but her lack of enthusiasm (to the point of curling up when facing me so I could not see or touch her breasts or vagina) made me feel like a total creep. I was frank with her. She claims she wants to continue, but I just don’t believe it. If I made her dinner every night and she hardly touched it, over time I would get the impression she didn’t like my cooking. Why make the effort if it’s not wanted? That’s how I feel. So I’m done. (clamberrypie)