Everyone knows the stereotype: a deadbeat dad says he’s going out for a pack of cigarettes, but then he never comes back. It’s hard to justify such a decision, let alone forgive it, and for those who have never experienced the feeling themselves, it can be difficult to even understand what was going through someone’s head when they abandoned their family.
Luckily, these fathers did just that and opened up about their choice.
Starve and Freeze
I gave my son up for adoption when he was one. Not the same, but I was the oldest of 7 kids and my parents made minimum wage. I worked full time (40-80hr weeks) since I was 15. I wasn’t about to let my son starve and freeze like we did.
I don’t regret it. (CannibalDoctor)
Question of Paternity
So this might be me, but I’m not sure.
Some time ago, when I was living abroad, I was in an abusive relationship with a girl who seemed sweet and caring on the outside but inside was toxic and manipulative and would do just about anything toner things her own way. I found out that the entire time we were together she was also sleeping with her ex, and after not being able to take anymore and breaking down myself I moved back home. We broke off all contact with each other and haven’t spoken since.
9 months after I returned home her friends began posting pictures on Facebook with a baby girl, who turned out to be hers. She was back together with her ex, the ‘father.’ I didn’t want to open old wounds, and so I threw my suspicions to the wayside and moved on with my life.
Fast forward another year and my curiosity gets the better of me, I asked her friends about the baby and although none of them spoke to her anymore as she had driven them away the same way she did me, the general consensus was that the baby was indeed mine, and that after being unable to conceive themselves, they had conspired to bring in an ignorant outside party to help them get the baby they wanted.
At this point I had moved on entirely and was in a happy relationship. As much as I wanted to know if this baby was mine, I was also very much aware that both of our lives had moved on and I didn’t want to make it harder for anybody. Not to mention the fact that I knew that I was 100% not in a position to look after a child, especially one that was pretty much as far away as it could be. So I left it at that and moved on.
I might have a daughter somewhere, I might not. Either way, I don’t think I’ll ever consider myself her father. (babydaddythrowawaddy)
We broke up due to her infidelity before finding out she was pregnant; She moved 2000 miles away before we knew – and yes, paternity test taken. I’d very much like to be in my child’s life, but she was not keen on having me around (at the time she was trying to rekindle things with an ex and generally do her own thing). She has since gotten married and had another kid – I figure this is probably a healthier environment for my child than having two parents constantly fighting. I’ve only gotten to see my child once – he is 8 now. I pay about $1100 a month in child support.
I don’t know what she is telling my kid. He might feel abandoned. Maybe there’s hope for a relationship (with him) in the future. (ta_0709)