Parents are people too, and they make mistakes
Parenting is anything but easy. You can take classes, read books, and listen to everyone’s advice, but there will be many times when your resources are stretched to their limits. Many think that they’re prepared for everything under the sun, but sometimes a situation arises that you just couldn’t have foreseen. No parent is perfect.
When you were growing up, you may have realized that what your parents did just wasn’t right, so you know that you don’t want to make the same mistakes they did. Neglect, anger, projection, and overprotection are some of the behaviors that these new parents refuse to exhibit in front of their children after what they went through.
Too Much Empathy
My mom used to tell me that my food would feel bad if I didn’t eat it. In addition to contributing to my fat-ness when I was younger, this led me to feeling bad for other inanimate objects that were not being used to their full potential. Old toys, abandoned houses, etc. (UncleTrustworthy)
My mom used to do the inanimate object guilt trip thing with me too and it gave me a ton of anxiety in childhood. When the Beanie Baby craze was in full swing I had to be extra careful to say good night to all 300+ beanies individually so none of them thought I didn’t love them. (usernameismyrealname)
My parents used to dismiss or make us feel bad about our interests. I was determined to not do the same with my kids. It isn’t the worst thing in the world to do, but it did strain our relationship during the teen years. When your interests are picked on, you learn to not talk about them anymore.
I don’t give a crap about video games and think they are pretty pointless, but gaming is one of my oldest son’s hobbies, and I try to stay interested. I’ll sit up in the game room and will watch him play, I have played with him, and I often ask him about the status of whatever game he is currently involved in.
My younger son loves baseball. While I do like sports, I think baseball is the most boring one out there. I still watched the World Series with my son, listened to him drone on and on about why the Dodgers should have [won], have caught balls for him while he practiced pitching, and cheer for him in the stands at his games.
You don’t have to love the hobby but try to show some interest in the things your kids love. I think that is the key to having a successful relationship when they are teenagers. (Ianadoal)
Unquestioning obedience. They could never be wrong, and, if they were, it was our fault.
Turns out it’s actually way easier to do it that way. Answering questions or even allowing yourself to stop and reevaluate if something is actually that important to you that it needs to be done “right this second to exact specifications” takes a lot of mental energy and can be exhausting.
But my kids are people too and them knowing that 1) I’m capable of being wrong and 2) their voice matters and even if I don’t change my mind about something they don’t need to be afraid to even ask in the first place is important to me.” (Quicily)