The pressure is on...
You’re young and in love. It feels like nothing can bring you down! Then it happens: your significant other asks you to come home and meet the family. After some invasive thoughts about worst-case scenarios, hand wringing, and stress headaches, you agree to make the trip and give it your best shot. It’s always awkward, but — for some unfortunate people — things go so horribly wrong that it destroys the relationship.
From explosive bouts of bowel problems to police intervention to hospital trips, you can’t beat these awful, awkward “meet the parents” stories.
Revealing the Secret
My boyfriend “Jeff” at the time dropped by on Christmas Day to give me a present. He had brought his five year old little sister, “Kimmie” with him. My entire extended family was all gathered around, sizing him up, etc. when his little sister started tugging on his arm and saying over and over, “Jeeeeefffff!! Can we go now?” To which he acted annoyed and said, “in a little bit, Kimmie.”
But she persisted and he kept saying, “in just a minute, hon…” Finally, I guess she couldn’t help herself, because in exasperation she threw back at him: “Jeff!! Remember in your car – before we came up here, YOU TOLD ME TO BEG!!!” And you could have heard a pin drop.
His face was bright red as he said a feeble awkward goodbye and shuffled off. Everyone in the room didn’t know what to say or where to look. (flibberdigibbit)
My girlfriend had me over for dinner at her parent house for the first time. Steak dinner with all of the fixins’. I take my first bite, swallow, immediately start choking. I’m so scared that I’m going to make a bad impression, so I took a drink of water to try to wash it down. Didn’t work, so after about fifteen seconds without a single breath my face turns red, so I start freaking out an point at my throat.
So my girlfriend’s mom does the Heimlich maneuver and I throw up all over the floor. Her two miniature schnauzers start licking up the aftermath, girlfriend’s dad puts his napkin down and leaves the room. (solohall)
I had just gotten out of a relationship, and I really didn’t want to start meeting everyone right away. My current boyfriend still lived at his family’s house at the time, and I had spent the night on his birthday for obvious reasons.
It’s been about three months, and I hadn’t met his family (they were vaguely aware of a “female” that occasionally stayed over, but work schedules made it easy for us to stay as private as possible, and they didn’t pry). Well he said almost every year on his birthday, they go to a late dinner and that’s that. Great, no pressure.
Well they decided to shake it up, and mom, dad, grandparents, sister, brother, brother in law, niece and nephew all come marching in around 9 AM with cake and balloons and shit and started singing.
My head was under the covers the whole time, with him just laying there propped up. Finally they stop singing, and I pop up, just to look, and everyone gasps, and grandma leaves muttering. His sister started “whooping” at us and laughing, and the kids just didn’t understand. Everyone left the room, and I snuck out the window.
He got a 30 mixed pack of condoms and lube from his sister later that day. Ugh. (pbandthatsmyjam)