It's for the better and for the worse.
With open attitudes about the gender binary becoming more commonplace, more and more people are living the way they feel is right. While there are still many people in the world that think transitioning is wrong, there are more than ever who believe that each and every person should live the way that they want to and feel comfortable in their skin. However, that doesn’t mean that old gender stereotypes have faded away.
While trans people face their own set of prejudices out in the world, they also face the everyday stereotypes of what it means to be “male” and “female.” What is unique is that many have had the experience of seeing how they’re treated while presenting as “male” or “female” as opposed to how they are treated after their transition. Their experiences with how people related to them before and after their transitions might just be eye opening to those who think sexism is dead.
Presenting male, women would smile at me a lot and be very shy when talking to me. I was (more or less) ignored by men. I was treated like a “could be gay, but dates hot women, but is also a geek, we don’t know what to do with him, military type” kind of guy by my peers.
After transitioning, women are more of a mixed bag. They’re sometimes friendly, sometimes glaring at me (hate or envy, I’m not sure but it’s unnerving). Overall they are much more comfortable talking and being around me though.
Men on the other hand… I get stared at constantly. I can’t help but feel very self aware and paranoid. They smile and are very friendly, that part is nice, but I dread coming across the aggressive types. (AstroHelo)
I’m a trans woman, and I don’t pass, so both being female and trans are in the mix of every experience I have.
I’ve been hit on, I’ve had people get in my face and not take no for an answer, I’ve been catcalled and wolf whistled at, and I’ve also had people shout insults and slurs at me because I’m trans. And in every instance, I’ve realized that this could end really badly, like if I say or do the wrong thing, they’re going to respond in unexpected, unpredictable ways. And that has left me feeling vulnerable, and avoidant.
I mean I had experiences that left me feeling vulnerable as a guy too, but it’s just so much more of an every day experience now. (cyronius)
Not Too Smart
I’m a post-op stealth transwoman in my early 20s and have been transitioning for quite a few years.
I noticed that a lot of men have become awkward around me. I’ve been told I’m conventionally attractive and it’s always amusing to watch men become embarrassed around me.
From women I get mixed responses. Either we get along really well or I have to face a lot of toxicity and jealousy.
Getting a job has been proven to be a bit of a challenge. I’m a database specialist and I noticed that if I prove to be too knowledgeable, interviewers will feel insecure and I end up not getting the job. So I always have to find a good balance of “knows enough” and “doesn’t make me feel threatened in my job,” but at the same time I don’t want to come across as dumb
Overall I’d say people have become a lot nicer towards me. Holding the door open for you, letting you hop on and off busses first, letting you have the seat in a bus, random gifts and acts of kindness. (thisisrlyawkward)