This thread is all over the place
We already know that every relationship is different. But recently, a few people over on Reddit went in search of stories about dating and marrying divorcées, specifically.
Asking why is a fool’s errand on the internet. There’s no explanation for hyper-specific YouTube edits. Future historians will be baffled that people spent countless hours running a bad webcomic through endless and ever more abstract permutations. Some things on the web just are.
A Reddit user asked what it was like to date someone who had been divorced, and if the partners ever realized that the person’s prior relationship ended for a reason.
We’ve compiled a few of the best below.
Somebody’s Watching Me
Well I didn’t marry him, but my ex boyfriend was divorced, and he made it seem like his ex wife was a total b*tch. He said that he gave everything to her, even quit his job to move to Georgia with her (they both previously lived in Minnesota). He said he had paid for all of her bills and makeup and clothes and even paid for couples trips and she took a different guy with her on a lot of them, leaving her husband behind. The marriage ended when she went on a trip to New Orleans with her friends and didn’t come back.
About a couple weeks into our relationship, he began to get EXTREMELY possessive over me. I figured it was because he had been through so much s**t with his last relationship, so I tried to overlook some of it, but it got so intense that he printed out a list of rules that I was to obey, which I obviously refused to accept. I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere without telling him, he had to have visual evidence of my work schedule. It was ridiculous. So, logically, I broke up with him. But he was relentless. He kept showing up at my house and work and it was just embarrassing. Finally I threatened to get a restraining order and he left me alone.
A few months later, I get a Facebook message from this random woman who is asking me if I’m okay. I’m like, yeah why?? Like, who are you, ya know? It turns out that she was the “crazy ex wife,” except that they were never really married. They were dating for a bit, and when she refused to let him pay her rent, he BOUGHT THE HOUSE FROM THE OWNER and would not accept her rent money. He bought a lot of trip tickets and used his key to go into her/his house to put them on her coffee table. She never went on any of the trips. She moved, but he found her apartment and would leave love letters in her mailbox. He threatened her friends on Facebook, forbidding them from “stealing her” from him. Finally she got her OWN restraining order and moved far away.
So yeah, this still creeps me out because sometimes I get a feeling that he’s stalking me, but I know it’s probably just paranoia. (Andalynangel)
Not Over It
I dated a divorcee for a hot sec. She was actually a really wonderful lady, but she obviously had some lingering feelings about how things had gone with her ex. The first time this came up was: one night we were at a bar and I ended up in a fairly intense, fun conversation about music with the (male) bartender. She got weirdly upset about this and started dropping lines like ‘well maybe you just want to go home with him’ and ‘it’s obvious you guys are into it’. A bit later, when she found out my brother is gay, she got weirdly passive aggressive and started saying enough offensive things that I eventually broke up with her.
Turns out her ex-husband left her for a man. (GPSBach)
Disagree With the Premise
I had my wife cheat on me… ended up meeting someone who was “perfect” and just thought I had hit the karma jackpot. She liked literally all the same things as me.
When I asked about her past, I’d hear stories of what sounded like abuse – but it was always implied (like “I was so scared, I thought he was going to hit me”). Then one night she went mental on me – started getting mad about me wanting to visit my daughter who was in the hospital- she wanted to go on a date instead… started throwing glass at me and it was like rain… went to get away and she came after me and clawed the crap out of the back of my neck, then yanked me backwards by my collar where I ended up on top of her – I pushed her away and just got out.
She called and started threatening me; since I had “hit her” (in falling on her) my options were come back to the house or she would call the cops and report me for abuse.. I hung up on her and called the cops instead
By the time the cops showed up, she had bruises on her neck; she self inflicted them to claim I had done it – just hadn’t called the cops yet – my hands showed no signs of aggressive force – plus the back of my neck earned her a trip to prison
It was at that point I realized how duped I was – I KNEW she was the reason for her previous divorce.
I think this question implies any divorced person is flawed – that isn’t fair – if you ever dated and broke up with someone, you are in the same exact boat – divorce just often gets messy because there is legal follow up. (WalkingTaco42)