We need to talk.
Relationships are amazing. From awkward office friends to our besties we’ve known since childhood, from family to even casual acquaintances, humans are social creatures and we depend on relationships of all kinds to thrive.
Of course, romantic relationships also make the world go round, not only from the fact that they keep the population alive, but our significant others have special ways of making us feel very alive during the months, years, or lifetimes we spend with them.
That being said, relationships are scary. Trusting another person so completely is a major risk and commitment for anybody, and some are more willing to take that leap than others. While developing that trust and working towards a mature and healthy—but fun—relationship is essential for any couple, there is always the frightening knowledge people should remain aware of.
The fact of the matter is people cheat. In the United States alone, studies done in the early ’90s showed that 70% of married women and 72% of married men had cheated on their partners, and while those numbers seem to have gone down over time, the estimate still ranges from 30–60%. Furthermore, people younger than 30 seem to be cheating more than before.
Many people consider cheating unforgivable, so why do they do it?
Here are Reddit users sharing their darkest confessions…
this-damn-throwaway: I’ve been a cheater in most relationships I’ve had, and as a result, a self-hater for most relationships. I’ve been through therapy for about 8 years for other reasons and what I’ve come to learn is that I didn’t feel I deserved love, affection, or appreciation. This stems from a whole host of other things from my childhood (sexual abuse, lack of fatherly relationship, latchkey kid, etc).
I treated relationships as though they were temporary even though they lasted for years. I’m a good looking guy so lots of women offer up temptation that I found difficult to reject. And each time, I hated myself for my indiscretions. I also picked relationships that were bad for me–cheater girlfriends, terrible communicators, insecure women, etc.
Got Cheated on First
sexypleurisy: My freshman year in college, I was still with my high school girlfriend. I avoided way too many opportunities for casual sex and new romances my freshman year out of faithfulness for there to have been any chance of dealing with walking into her apartment finding her curled up with another dude in a healthy way. It flipped a switch. It was like I went narcissist or psychopath or some shit overnight. It was like my ability to love or respect women just disappeared. So I cheated on literally every girlfriend I had from then on.
And I wasn’t sneaky about it. I didn’t care if I got caught. I’d give the shittiest, poorly-thought out excuses for where I was/what I was doing and just not care to explain it any further. And the number of girls that gave me the benefit of the doubt on those shitty, god-awful excuses was astounding. And even when they didn’t, and I would actually get busted, who gave a shit? Not me. I had already gotten what I wanted [….]
The woman I ended up marrying was the catalyst for change, though I think I started calming down some by that point anyway. Didn’t cheat on her, we got married, still didn’t cheat on her. She cheated on me. 3 different people, some more than once, that I know of. I suspect dozens more.
I think I kinda deserved it, though. I had spent enough time being an insufferable bastard that I had it coming. When it’s all said and done, though, I really don’t know why aside from it having been a power trip. Only thing I know for sure is that I’m not going back to it.