“We are not the passive victims of our own internalized biases.”
Many people today are familiar with the struggle of dating. Actually, before we even get ahead of ourselves, many single people are aware of just how hard it is to meet people in the first place.
Our modern, connected world has brought us the convenience of dating apps and online dating–platforms which enable us to see, chat with, and perhaps meet people who otherwise we may never encounter.
And yet, with all the swiping left and creepy direct messaging, it seems as though we feel lonelier than ever. But could that be our own fault?
As it turns out, even in our most intimate profiles, we could be showing sides of ourselves that aren’t okay to show, not even in private.
Here are the startling statistics.
At the end of the day, dating can bring out just about the worst (and best) in all of us.
Often coping with the pressures to find true love or just to avoid being #ForeverSingle, it’s no surprise that we try and come off as our best selves–from carefully curated pictures to painstakingly forced wit–in our dating profiles. After all, we only want the best for ourselves, and to give our best to that special someone else.
Unfortunately, we innately have pretty warped ideas about who that special someone should be, look, and act, and more often than not, we’re picky about the types of things other people can’t control. Like their race.
Racial preferences on dating sites are everywhere, even when they come across in seemingly innocent ways.
These “innocent” biases can manifest themselves in simple ways, such as automatically swiping left on a profile belonging to somebody of an ethnic background you’re not attracted to, or by ignoring messages for this same reason.
Then again, there are the more upfront examples, such as seeing “Asians need not apply” in a Grindr profile, or clarifying that you’re into “Blacks and Latinos only.” But are these still just your personal preferences, or something deeper?