The Internet at the Speed of Thought

Sarah Silverman Wants Men to Ultrasound Their Balls Before Doing This…

at 6:03 pm | By

Grab Life by the Balls.

Murderers! You’re all murderers!

Of course, I’m addressing any male past the age of puberty who indubitably has, at one point or another, realized that if he touches himself down there too much, it will go off. Boom. Splat.

But wait, ‘How could that be murder?’ you ask? How could you possibly be killing something that isn’t a human and hasn’t been born yet?

Welcome to the world of women, who have had the same backwards ideology forced upon them for decades.

In response to America and other countries’ strict if not arbitrary policies regarding abortion, comedienne Sarah Silverman proposed that men should have to undergo some strict new legal measures before the next time they beat their meat.

It may sound crazy, but her argument is based in science.

sarah silverman masturbation mustache jason bateman

Credit: Kevin Winter/ Getty Images

Here’s the proof…