Teach Your Children How to Argue
All parents argue with their kids. Welcome to life. This is a good thing. And while it can be quite frustrating to constantly feel at odds with your son or daughter and have your authority put under question and bluntly prodded by your children, parents need to keep in mind that this is a normal part of social development. In fact, think of the resistance-of-authority boxing ring as a training ground for your kids that allows them to develop and flex some important emotional muscles they’ll need to use later on in the adult world. Think of these as safe practice rounds for your kids, and let your awareness of this dynamic help steer how you internalize these difficult moments – in short, make it a learning experience for both of you.
Here are a few thoughts to help you tame these spats, keep them in perspective, and how you can help your kids pull as many benefits from the “talking back” experience as possible. After all — you might as well make the fight worthwhile.
Be sure to SHARE with other parents who need the reminder!
They Just Want Some Control
It’s good for kids to learn to have control over their own lives. When we’re very young we’re OK with someone controlling our every move, but as we get older we need to stand on our own. Standing up to your parents is an important building block in the maturation process. Clinical psychologist Kelly M. Flanagan explains that “the inability to say “No” — the inability to set personal boundaries — is one of the most common, insidious causes of human suffering.“
Mini Life Lessons
Arguments come in all shapes, sizes, subjects and intensities. The truth about arguments is that (hopefully) they lead towards productive discussion. If you don’t “talk back” in the first place, how can you open the door to a more open relationship with other people?