The Internet at the Speed of Thought

11 Examples of the Worst Pickup Attempts Ever

at 4:21 pm | By

Soda Overkill

Disgusted woman rejecting a geek boy offering flowers in a blind date in a coffee shop interior Image ID:357520175 Copyright: Antonio Guillem

Credit: Antonio Guillem/Shutterstock

After bringing me every type of soda from the school vending machine (despite being told numerous times that I can’t drink soda), he pulled up a song on his phone and blasted it on full volume. He told me of how he understood the Japanese lyrics and the romance they held because love was a language spoken through raw emotions and could be understood by all. And of course, how the song represented our love. It was pretty cringe-worthy. (YsabelMystic)

A Complete Snoozer

shocked woman on bad date with man on tablet

Credit: djile/Shutterstock

Reading entire pages from a book written in Latin over a dinner date in a thick Italian accent because “that’s the way it most likely sounded,” without translating anything, until I was about ready to fall asleep. I wrote off all classics majors after that date. ETA: I tried bringing up some of my research after this, he tells me he “doesn’t believe” nothing can travel faster than the speed of light because “take radio waves, for example. They travel at the speed of sound, faster than light.” (forjustonemoment)

Bar stools aren’t your friends

couple in love

Credit: Goran Bogicevic/Shutterstock

This happened to me. I was at a bar and the bartender asked me to pass him a chair over the bar (they do this when the bar gets crowded) and so I thought I’d impress the girl I was talking to by doing it with one hand. I ended up knocking the drink out of her hand and onto her dress, immediately trying to catch the drink while forgetting I was still holding onto the chair, dropping the chair on another guy who then proceeded to do what I attempted to do with ease. I just walked home. (Hogger18)