If Pigs Could Fly…
…the Price of Bacon Would Skyrocket.
With pork prices down over the past few years, Bacon Mania has taken the world by storm, especially in the United States.
From bacon doughnuts (yum) to bacon lollipops (ew) to a “Baconaisse” condiment (I’d try it), our obsession with bacon has grown to be stronger than it has been for the hundreds of years that humans have been eating it. But now, our love of bacon has truly reached a new peak.
Described as being “like a hot frying pan in your pants,” bacon-scented underwear from J&D’s Foods — a company that pioneered the realm of novelty bacon products — has easily just become the height of bacon fashion, the love child of two of humanity’s most comforting products.
Source: Twitter @TribLocal/ @clotildelarge01/ J&D’s Foods
Start the slideshow below to learn how you can get your hands (and other bits) on bacon-scented underwear, then SHARE! It’s anything but kosher!
Bacon Basics
Source: J&D’s Foods
Before the height of the bacon craze, J&D’s Foods, a Seattle-based company, got themselves set up in an industry that would boom before their eyes.
Using a $5,000 loan from one of the founder’s three-year-old son — who had won the money on America’s Funniest Home Videos — Justin Esch and David Lefkow founded J&D’s Foods with Bacon Salt and Baconnaise. You can still buy these delicious flagship products on their site.
Sweet and Savory Dreams
Source: J&D’s Foods
Does your love of bacon transcend food and exist in the realm of home furnishings? Why not dream sweet and savory dreams about your favorite pork product? For just $12.99, this bacon-scented pillowcase could be all yours.
Bacon Armor
Source: J&D’s Foods
According to J&D’s website, “The three most dangerous activities in the world are:
1. Underwater cage fighting with great white sharks
2. Bungee jumping into a live volcano, and
3. Cooking bacon naked”
While they can’t do anything to help with the first two, though, the company came up with the perfect safety measure for the third — and arguably most dangerous — task. Introducing the Naked Bacon Cooking Armor, which will protect your bits from burning for just $14.99.
For the Man in Your Life
Source: J&D’s Foods
Ah, yes, the reason you probably came here in the first place: bacon-scented underwear. If you’re the type of person whose pants come off the minute they walk in the door, or the type of person who thinks about bacon at all hours, then these are the boxer-briefs for you, and at $19.99, they’re a steal!
But you’ve been warned, the website urges customers not to wear this novelty underwear in the following circumstances:
-If you have a large dog with razor sharp teeth, please do not fall asleep in J&D’s Bacon Scented Underwear.
-J&D’s Bacon Scented Underwear is not recommended for people in the following professions: mail carriers, zookeepers, veterinarians, dog catchers and walkers, and circus performers (especially lion tamers).
-If you are hiking in the woods where bears are known to roam, please do not wear Bacon Scented Underwear without also carrying a firearm.
For the Woman in Your Life
Source: J&D’s Foods
And finally, a sexier pair of lovely, bacon-scented underwear for the special woman in your life. Urging you to “stop and smell the bacon,” these sizzling unmentionables only cost $19.99 and will last you up to six months or even a year based on how regularly you wear them, wash them, and the “strength of your own scent.”
Don’t forget to check out J&D’s Foods site for more amazing bacon novelty items, and SHARE this article!