The Internet at the Speed of Thought

Confessions of an Adult Store Employee

at 7:35 pm | By

No Judging!

Working at a sex store had its advantages and disadvantages. When people asked me, “So, where do you work?” I wouldn’t lie. I used to be a tad bit embarrassed to answer. I mean, let’s be honest, it’s not the average job to bring up in conversation. Especially to people who were either uptight or closet freaks. But then there were times when, in the appropriate setting, people would ask me, “What’s the best toy out there?” or “What’s the craziest thing someone’s ever done?” Of course, I had no problem dishing on these topics, especially the latter.

Even though I come from a Catholic family who never exposed me to a crazy lifestyle or even wild sex talks, it wasn’t the sex store that shocked me, it was what happened inside that was as shocking as one would think.

Sex Store sign

Credit: Alfonso de Tomas/Shutterstock

Here are some sexy and not-so-sexy things that happened at my former job.

The Swingers

Woman being bored while having dinner with couple

Credit: Kaspars Grinvalds/Shutterstock

Every year, my hometown hosts a swinger’s convention at the hotel that’s right next door to the sex shop where I worked. Oh, fun. Thousands of swinging couples, mostly old and wrinkled, bum-rushed the doors to get gallons of lube, whips and gags. It was all good until a couple tried to lure me to go out with them after I got off. Uh, no thank you!

The Jesus People

Protesters march through the Nations capitol during the 2011 Occupy movement

Credit: Evan McCaffrey / Shutterstock

“You’re going to hell!” That’s what the protesters would proclaim through signs and bullhorns at least three times a month right outside of our door. One time, they hired a choir of CHILDREN to sing praise songs outside.