The Internet at the Speed of Thought

Fifty Shades of Spray Tan: Erotic Trump Novella Becomes Bestseller

at6:04 pm | By

Let This Red Party Favorite Show You His Red Room…

Typically, the best way to take the fear or power away from somebody is not by giving them more attention. Then again, if that extra attention comes in the form of an erotic novella, it just might bring a bully down to size.

That’s exactly what comedian Elijah Daniel thought as he set out to write a short story about Donald Trump that crosses into the realm of Fifty Shades of Grey.

trump temptations intro

Source: Twitter @SCMP_News @aguywithnolife

Daniel’s drunk aspirations became reality with Trump Temptations: The Billionaire & The Bell Boy, which promptly became a bestseller on Amazon. Well, a bestseller in the “Humorous Erotica” subcategory.

These dirty (and disturbing) excerpts will show you why it became so popular…

“My loins trembled as they scent of toupee adhesive and spray tan swept through my nasal cavity.”

trump temptations 2

Source: Twitter @aguywithnolife

So he’s no Christian Grey, but he could make America great again.

“His ass flapped behind him like a mouthwatering stack of pancakes. And my hunger for pancakes had never been stronger.”

trump temptations 3

Source: Twitter @aguywithnolife

If this sentence alone doesn’t stop you from wanting to read the book, nothing will.