Bill, what's up with these tweets?
Bill O’Reilly was fired from his position at Fox News in April of 2017. Despite the fact that he was ousted for years of apparent sexual misconduct (and subsequent coverups by the network), he left with a $32 million settlement. Because this is Bill O’Reilly we’re talking about here, the disgraced conservative commentator wasn’t just going to take this money and run… He went back to work for his own media company where I assume no pesky HR department would give him any flack.
Today, Bill O’Reilly spends his time vlogging on his website, hosting his subscription service radio show (which is still bafflingly popular), and of course… tweeting.
Somewhere between posting pictures of his corgi, denouncing the mainstream media, and redundantly using words like pithy in 280 character tweets, Bill started a little series, noted as his “Tip of the Day.” Possibly, I guess, because people enjoy getting life advice from a man who spent $50 million to silence women whom he sexually harassed.
Here’s a few of our favorites…
How to Eat
Somewhere around Thanksgiving, Bill O’Reilly wanted his followers to know a little trick that he practices before gorging on turkey and drowning his 32 million sorrows in gravy. A seasoned vet when it comes to gorging on turkey and chugging gravy boats, Bill likes to take it slow. He also sips water, which is a basic human need for survival.
Oh, and he wants you to check out his website. Shameless plug? Nope. He’s here to help, guys!
How to Christmas
I bet Bill O’Reilly can turn into a real Scrooge if you send him a card without a personal note inside. He likes his cards with a personal touch. You know… like the $50 million dollars in hush money he gave all those women he personally touched.
Also, if you don’t do Christmas, I think it’s a given that you’re probably not sending out Christmas cards… I’m just sayin’.
How to Shop ‘Till You Drop
Once you’ve slowly chewed your way through Thanksgiving and Christmas, you’re bound to gain a couple pounds. Bill doesn’t want you to blame yourself though, because those pesky garment companies are taking us all for a loop. It’s not you that got fatter, it’s the clothes that got deceptive.
Who knew Bill O’Reilly was such a fashionista?