"No, occifer, I'm fine."
Outsmarting the System
I was a scared 16yo kid. I went the wrong way down a one way street. Saw that the road became a two way just a block ahead by the time I realized it was a one way st, so I kept going instead of trying to turn around illegally.
Cop was at the intersection I went through, pulled me over. Scared the SHIT out of me, yelling at me about the Red light I ran.
The stupidest thing I TRIED to say to a cop was that I was going the wrong way down a one way.
He told me to shut up when I started talking and came back with a very big ticket.
I thought it through and went and took pictures of the intersection. See, what I was ticketed for was running a red light.
There are no red lights the wrong way down a one way street. Think about it. That would be crazy.
So I went to Court to contest my ticket. I wore a suit, was respectful, and when the Judge asked almost sarcastically while looking at my particular info “So you’re going to tell me you didn’t do it or something, huh?” I told him “Actually, sir, yes. Because it’s impossible to run a red light that isn’t there.”
That got his interest, and he made eye contact. He sat up a little bit and asked what I meant.
I told him about there not being a red light the wrong way down a one way street. I asked if I could present the pictures, which the Bailiff brought up. He laughed while looking at them, which included the street corners and enough surroundings to prove it was in fact the cross streets mentioned.
I told the Judge that I was apologizing to the Officer and trying to tell him about the ‘wrong way down a one way’ but got told to shut up and wasn’t able to explain.
The judge laughed again and said “well, he would have cited you for the right thing if he had just listened, but I can’t cite you. Clearly you didn’t run a red light.” And he dismissed it. I only had to pay the court filing fee of 25 bucks.
Know Your Rights
Semi-Drunk me being escorted out of a bar by an officer at 21: “well, going to exercise my second amendment right and tell you to go fuck your self”
Cop as he begins to cuff me: “dumbass, that’s the 3rd amendment”
My sober friend walking with us: “actually it’s the first amendment” (Norman_smiles)
Was in my car, at a park at night after it had closed, with my girlfriend at the time. Cops roll up right after we had finished in the backseat, as we were trespassing by being in the park at this time. I get out of the car to talk to the officer, and he grills me, asking about my girlfriend. He asks me, “Is she decent?” and I’m thinking like, yeah she’s pretty hot so I say, “Yes”. Officer then goes and opens the car door and sees her still naked in the car, and goes “No she’s not! Get dressed!” He then gave us a warning and told us to leave. (MrCrumbbley)