Should've swiped left
Millennials looking for love in the digital age have a double-edged-sword. They can meet a seemingly endless pool of potential dates through dating apps, but in turn this makes many users more picky as they have more options.
Dating services like OkCupid, Bumble, and Tinder make it easy to find someone who wants to meet up that day, but Tinder in particular has found success as the OG “swiping” app. Someone’s photo pops up with very basic information about them and you swipe their photo left for no and right for yes. It is indeed based on initial superficiality, but if you both swipe right on each other you make a “match” and are able to message each other. That’s when you get to find out more about them or see if they just want to come over for Netflix and Chill, depending on one’s intentions.
There seems to be hundreds of blogs about Tinder and the awful dates it has resulted in. A girl getting too drunk and puking on her match. A guy ordering lobster and expecting the woman to pay. They say they are going to the bathroom then bail without a word.
But NOTHING will ever come close to this amazingly bizarre and hilarious Tinder date.
Liam Smyth of Bristol, England took his unnamed Tinder date to dinner one evening. They got on well and the woman agreed to go back to Liam’s place to watch a documentary and have a night cap. Prospects are looking good right?
The woman excused herself to use the restroom. She had to poo, which is embarrassing during a first date. Turns out she REALLY had to poo. She neglected to do the “courtesy flush” and clogged the toilet. She must have been sweating bullets. What do you do?!
She panicked, grabbed into the toilet and retrieved the piece of stool and threw it out the window behind the toilet. But she didn’t chuck it far enough and it ended up between two panes of glass — the second of which did not open.
It gets worse
The woman bit the bullet: She called Liam, 24, for help. He helped lower her in the space between the two window panes to pick up the poo.
And she got stuck.
Being an amateur gymnast, she was convinced that she could reach into the window and pull the poo out, using the tried and tested ‘inside out bag as glove’ technique. Unfortunately she couldn’t reach. She climbed further in and had the same problem.
Eventually I agreed to give her a boost up and into the window. She climbed in head first after her own turd, reached deeper into the window, bagged it up, and passed it out, over the top and back into the toilet from whence it came. She called out to me to help her climb out from the window, I grabbed her waist and I pulled. But she was stuck.
That’s when the professionals came in.
A crew of fireman arrived at Liam’s apartment and had to smash the inner window to get the Tinder girl out.
Liam started a GoFundMe for about $400 to get the glass replaced for his landlord. He reached his goal in only three hours. He even ended up making over $2500 that Liam says will be donated to charity after companies offered to replace the glass for free.
And the woman? She posted on Reddit about the ordeal:
“It was a panic response and within seconds I knew I’d made a terrible mistake. I would have left, but I just couldn’t do that to him. I make bad choices sometimes but I like to think I’m not a bad person, and to me that would have been bad [to leave]. I feel like if I had and he’d found me out after though I’d probably be in a worse position now. I swear I was literally on my knees cringing and apologising. He was so good about it though, just laughed with me rather than at me. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to say.”
She and Liam actually went out again!
I was going to tell you a poop joke but it’s really crappy.
Read more about the situation over at Metro UK and don’t forget to SHARE this with your friends who use Tinder.