Is that too much?
Pleasure Your Partner
Sex educator Chris Rose believes that you should do what you can to ensure that you and your partner stay satisfied. When the romance goes down and sex is difficult, focus on other things to get those libidos back up.
He explains, “Your shared sex life is a constant navigation between the tides of your libido, your time and energy, and mutual desire to prioritize sex. Frequent conversations about your sex life ― and increasing the amount of affectionate touch you share outside of the bedroom ― may actually be the most important factors in a long-term sexually satisfying relationship.”
All About Arousal
Sex therapist Ian Kerner concurs about the importance of emphasizing romance and desire over trying to have an orgasm. “I tell couples that for many people, sexual desire doesn’t emerge at the start of sex, but more toward the middle. You need to commit to generating some kind of arousal (through kissing, making out, dancing, reading erotica or watching porn) that may lead to desire. Be willing to generate arousal and see where it goes.”
Do you or your partner feel like you just can’t become aroused? There could be a psychological or physical problem that needs to be diagnosed. Sex therapist Celeste Hirschman says, “Sometimes, the lower sex drive partner might not be getting the kind of sex they want or they might be feeling too much pressure from their partner which makes them feel obligated. Feeling obligated to have sex is definitely not sexy.” She recommends just trying to be more connected with your partner by snuggling or kissing.
Do you feel that you have an unsatisfying sex life? Give these tips a try and see if things work out better for you. SHARE this story with your frustrated friends!