You won't believe how this ends
Most people have at least one person in their past that they were warned about getting close to. Friends and family can tell when there’s just something not right about a person. You find out later that everyone was right, and you just couldn’t see it. In this case, a woman was told by the alleged “psycho ex” that her guy was not who he was pretending to be and that she needed to get out now before it was too late.
A New Relationship
The young anonymous woman began her story, “I’ve been dating my boyfriend for two months now, he’s smart and sweet and everything’s been going well, but maybe a bit quickly. He told me about his ‘crazy psycho ex girlfriend’ who apparently cheated on him 15 times, was abusive, and a drug addict, and emotional, and how her parents once came to his house to yell at him for no reason. She just sent me a message on Facebook:
“‘I dated your boyfriend back in 2015 and 2016. He’s very nice for the first couple of months, as you may know. Unless he has had extensive therapy and quit all drugs since I broke up with him, he is not the man you think he is now. He has not changed. I couldn’t change him, you can’t change him. Your boyfriend is a very very abusive and violent man. I’m not sure if he’s told you about his depression and how he gets and off his medication constantly simply to do drugs that interfere with his medication. His mood swings, his extreme rage over his own abusive father. His denial, his inability to seek help due to his ego.
“He will claim he really cares about you, and beg you to be patient with him after he blames you, manipulates you, insults you, breaks your things, and threatens you. It will become a cycle.
“Maybe you’ve noticed him getting frustrated over small things more and more frequently. It will escalate, I promise you. But if you ever start to find that he is changing into what I described above, and that he isn’t the man who you started dating, you will remember my message and please leave him before it gets worse. Because it will. -Julia’
“I am so conflicted. He actually has been getting slightly frustrated recently at little things, mood swings. But he never told me about depression or an abusive dad, why wouldn’t he tell me about those things. He does take medication for anxiety. He does drugs but I don’t think it’s really a problem, he’s not like a heroin addict. He does get kind of angry on Xanax though.
“What do I do? Do I show it to him?”
The Popular Vote
The woman took her question to Reddit, and people immediately saw the red flags going up. She claimed that they’ve only been together for two months, but things were progressing quickly. He’s taking drugs along with prescription medication and becoming frustrated, often having an inexplicable mood swing. These are all universal signs of an abuser.
Redditor themauve4venger said to her, “I believe her. Do not show him. If it’s true, you are putting her in danger. Do what she asked- continue, but with open eyes.” User hashtagsugary believed that the mere composition of the letter was evidence that it was true, saying, “The grammar and punctuation to me shows this was taken time to write. There’s no anger or rage, just a simple statement of fact for someone not to fall into what was clearly hell. I wouldn’t consider dating any man if I received a well composed message like that.”
User p**p_giggle agreed about the letter, “Well so far she’s been right on his beginning stages of his anger. The drug abuse will be a problem, guaranteed. Especially if it’s something easy to get like prescription drugs. He’s now starting to show the signs she has warned you about. Seems to me she is speaking from experience and isn’t some crazy ex. Don’t get too attached. If it gets even slightly worse then it’s best to dump him before you get yourself into the same situation she got herself into.
“She’s been right so far. The last thing you should do is date a drug addicted person with anger issues. Don’t show him the message. He tormented her enough.”
The Epic Conclusion
Their words of wisdom were enough for her; she asked to meet with Julia, but Julia was so fearful that it was her ex trying to trick her that she couldn’t do it. Our narrator took matters into her own hands. She updated her story about “Tom,” “I started slowly slipping some questions the day. First I asked him why he never talks about his father. he rolled his eyes and said, ‘It’s irrelevant.’ The entire week I was just trying to find any hint of the abusive guy she told me about, and I was seeing signs everywhere. He really seemed like he was getting more and more frustrated everyday. It was driving me crazy.
“So three days ago we both went to a festival with his best friend and on the ride there Tom makes a joke about ‘seeing his psycho ex at the festival’ and how she’s probably going to be wasted. At the festival I noticed that Tom kept looking around a lot. Like a lot. So I said to Tom and his best friend jokingly, ‘Looking for your psycho ex?’ and his best friend looks at Tom and says ‘Psycho ex?’ Tom says, ‘It’s nothing. So that was… weird.
“Anyway, that night, Tom got really really f**ked up. He’s on his medication so he did 2g of MDMA. Not to mention that he combined it with alcohol and Xanax and some opiates and some lines of cocaine. His best friend did a fairly equal amount of drugs. I was stuck fairly sober to look after them.. Honestly at this point I had already decided to dump him the next day. This was just ridiculous, he has zero care for himself.”
Now she had to make her move. Leaving an abuser can be the most difficult part of the relationship because they can act so unpredictably. That’s what she learned.
She continued, “The second day of the festival, Tom took a lot of Xanax and his best friend was literally too hungover to go. When they were asleep last night I actually went out and sold my ticket to some stranger. Anyway, Tom and I walked outside and I told him that I was actually getting an Uber and going home, that I don’t think this relationship is working out. First he laughed and was like ‘Yeah okay’ but then he saw I was serious. He was all ‘Why? I don’t understand’ and started pleading me, begging me to stay. He asked me what he did wrong, and I was like ‘Well the drugs and all that. Also I just don’t think we’re compatible.’ He kept begging, insisting his drug use wasn’t a problem. Then he started promising he could change, that we could work on this and fix it, that he’d sober up, etc.”
That’s when his true nature appeared. She wrote, “I guess it was when he realized that there’s no changing my mind which is when he started getting REALLY angry. It escalated so quickly. ‘Was this your plan all along? To just string me along? You’re f**king other guys aren’t you? You know what! F**K YOU!’ Then he kicked a fire hydrant.”
He berated her and threatened her while she waited for her car. He said that she was just like Julia and that he was going to get a restraining order against her. She continued, “I barely even reacted, it was so shocking to hear him in that state. I said nothing back to him, I didn’t get mad back at him or anything, I just hoped my Uber would get here quickly.” He even berated the driver.
She learned her lesson about abusers finally, so that strange Facebook message saved her a ton of time and misery. She realized she dodged a bullet. She said of her ordeal, “You were all right. Julia was with him for like a year. I feel horrible for her because she didn’t have her own Julia to tell her about this a**hole. I also sent Julia a thank you message.”
Have you been warned about entering a new relationship, or had to warn anyone else? Tell us what happened in the comments and SHARE this story of escaping abuse.