Not everyone takes pre-wedding ceremonies seriously, but for some people, bachelor and bachelorette parties are just as important as the weddings themselves. For those people, it doesn’t take much to overstep boundaries.
So when this woman invited one of her friends to her bachelorette party, it was expected of her to show up… and then she was nowhere to be seen. She told her she couldn’t come, but her alibi didn’t hold up when the bride-to-be found out where she had actually been that night!
No one likes when a friend cancels at the last minute, but it’s even more offensive when you cancel on a bachelorette party that was likely planned weeks in advance. That’s exactly what happened to this Mumsnet user, who said that she was “still trying to process” the entire event. On the forum, she writes:
“Last night was my [bachelorette party]. Same time as my [fiance’s bachelor party]. All arranged long ago in my home town. Said friend invited to [bachelorette party], her [husband] to [the bachelor party]. They don’t know my [fiancé] well but we have been friends since late teens (am 30yrs old).
“Her husband confirmed [bachelor party] attendance straight away. She made excuses (kids, etc)… Today I find from other [bachelors], etc that she actually tagged along with her [husband] with the [bachelors]?!?
“The only one there not a stripper and a wife, etc. Feel terrible, since they are essentially MY friends, but I had no idea. Just feel like picking up the phone and telling them to get lost and not bother coming to the wedding now… [am I being unreasonable?]”
This user took to Mumsnet specifically to get insight into the situation from an unbiased standpoint and her fellow forum users were happy to volunteer their opinions. From the looks of it, most people felt strongly one way or another, with several telling her she was perfectly right in disinviting her friend, and other saying she was absolutely overreacting.
Mumsnet user Ohmyf*ck pointed out that her friend clearly hadn’t thought her alibi through. They wrote, “A bit odd (and hurtful). I’d find out exactly what happened first; as in, did she understand that they were meant to be at different venues? Wtf did the blokes think when she turned up?! What about her partner? It’s all a bit strange. Find out the details first and if it turns out she just couldn’t be arsed then ditch her. Were you actually expecting her to turn up to your do? Had she eventually confirmed after all her excuses or not?”
The original poster, Restlessandwild, pointed out, “It was made absolutely clear that there were to complete separate events. I didn’t expect her at mine, since she made it clear that she couldn’t find babysitter. Apparently her mum came over. The other [bachelors] were quite stunned and it really upset the dynamic of the evening. As I can imagine it would have done if a husband turned up at my [bachelorette party]. I know she’s very jealous of her [husband] but this?”
User MartinJD found the thought of uninviting her from the wedding to be childish. They wrote, “Or alternatively …. she just prefairs the company of her partner to yours, perhaps she finds the idea of spending the evening with you or your friends not as interesting as spending it with the ‘lads’. Either way the fact that your are now considering ‘dis-inviting’ her from your wedding is infantile and suggests that you’re quite child like, which may explain her actions.”
Many continued to egg her on to uninvite the guest. User DoJo wrote, “If, as you surmise, my friend didn’t enjoy spending time in my company and preferred to gatecrash events at which they were clearly not going to be welcome, I wouldn’t want them coming to my wedding either. I don’t think that’s childish – I wouldn’t particularly want to play host to anyone who didn’t actually like me under any circumstances.”
User BarryTheKestrel agreed, “I’d be furious frankly. Says it all about what she thinks of you and your friendship. She won’t make the effort for your [bachelorette party] but will go and keep tabs on her other half on the [bachelor party]. My [bachelorette] and [husband’s bachelor party] were on different weekends. On the night of the [bachelor party] me and some friends had a girls night in, wine, chick flick, etc. I went home around midnight as I had work the next day, they all went into town and joined the [bachelor] party. I was fuming then and they hadn’t even ditched me. I’d talk to her, ask what the hell she is playing at and what her excuses are before disinviting, but I’d seriously consider it.”
What would you have done in her position? Would you have put the past behind you, or uninvited the friend? Let us know in the comments and SHARE this article!