It's not just women who get hurt by gendered expectations!
“Feminism” gets a bad rap for being all about women. While it’s true that the movement does focus on issues of women and was started to fight for the basic rights of female citizens, that doesn’t mean that feminists aren’t concerned with making things fair for everyone. In fact, I’d bet that more feminists than you realize think that the patriarchal structure of our society is just as damaging to men as it is to women. Not in the same ways, mind you, but it’s a widely accepted feminist ideal that strict gender roles negatively affect everyone—not just those who identify was female.
Don’t believe me?
Here are some examples of the ways that the patriarchy and its gendered expectations hurts us all, from women and men alike!
Believe it or not, men are parents!
If I am out somewhere with the kids without my wife, I am “giving mommy a break” and “having a special day” with the kids. No, dummy, we’re just going to the grocery store. (Omakepants)
Men can also care for kids without being creepy
Im a 19 y/o male, and I babysit my 3 and 6 year old girl cousins often. Last time I babysat them, we played tag, then we had to go to the grocery store. The 3 year old decided that she wants to play tag, and runs away from me, so I chase her down, playfully saying “I’m gonna get ya!” in a funny voice cuz it gets her to laugh. A mom passes by and grabs my 3 year old cousin, takes the 6 year old and goes to a manager. My aunt had to come down and tell them that I was watching them. That was the worse it’s been, but if I go anywhere in public with little kids, especially girls, I’m seen as a predator pedo (Realshoebox)
It cuts both ways
Women are supposed to love children. Men who love children are pedos.
I’m a childfree woman in my thirties. Have nothing against them, I just don’t want my own, and prefer not to baby-sit (although I still do sometimes for friends and family). People still assume that I’ll change my mind, that I should jump at the chance to spend time with children, or that there is something inherently wrong with me.
On the flip side, if men really want kids, want to work with kids, or love baby-sitting – they’re eyed with suspicion. It’s one of the double-standards that I think has a negative effect for both genders. (JamieGoesHome)