I hope that no one responds to these
Accidental Back Scratch
“We were strangers in the 27th row on a flight from Seattle. We didn’t even exchange hellos.
You seemed queasy and kept putting your head on the seat in front of you. I was high on cold medication and decided you needed a back scratch.
“We both realized what was happening, but it was too late.
I scratched your back in an affectionate manner for at least five seconds, and no more than ten.
I patted your back awkwardly at the conclusion of my back scratch and then pretended to be asleep.
If you’re reading this, I’m sorry.”
“It was a magical experience if ever I’ve had one.
Walking up and down the back alleys looking for something, anything, to make me feel alive and I noticed some old thrown out adult DVD covers in the dumpster of a local store.
I couldn’t believe my luck but knew that with the clothes on my back being my only possessions in the world that I couldn’t risk soiling them.
I removed my exterior garments and jumped into the metal bin to begin digging for treasures of a masturbatory nature.
That’s when I stood up and saw you there holding your trash bags. It was obvious that you weren’t expecting me as you took out the daily trash from your work.
You were standing there looking perplexed yet intrigued and there I was wearing nothing but sneakers, standing in your dumpster while holding placards of all the dirtiest new adult DVD releases.
Oh it was a sight to behold. Your eyes meet mine and there was an awkward silence before you turned and walked the other way. I am sure you felt the same thing I did.
You were the porn store employee wearing the yellow shirt, I believe you are the manager. I was, of course, the naked 30 something with a few good teeth.
Please respond ASAP as my data on my obamaphone expires in two days.”
“I was driving past you when I saw you hit a pothole, and wreck your bike, down you went like a pack of cigarettes from a smokers hand, and I pulled over to run and help you back up.
You were pretty scrapped up and in a lot of pain. I scooped you up and told you I was going to take you to the nearest hospital.
You had true grit, and for whatever reason you allowed me, a total stranger, to take you to the hospital. You had clocked your noggin pretty good and you might have had a concussion.
I may have fell in love with you then and there. but whose to say.
I promised you to get your bike in my car, took some maneuvering but we all three fit, and I rushed you off.
Got you there, and even though you made me run late for work I couldnt leave you. You were holding my hand, and leaning on my shoulder. I slipped my name and number in your sweatshirt pocket, kissed you on your forehead, and promised I would come back in a few hours to check on you.
I went out and bought a lock to lock your bike up outside the hospital entrance, and left the key in the pouch on the back.
I had to go to work. This was strike 2 for me this month, and i can’t afford to lose this job. Although I really wanted to know your name.
I came back later, but you and your bike were gone. I havent heard back from you since.
I hope you got home ok.”