Do you even read, bro?
Have you ever had an encounter of the douchebag kind? It’s a terrifying experience indeed. You come across some guy who exhibits such grandiose narcissistic tendencies that it seems like he has zero regard for anyone or anything around him, yet even the most non-confrontational people or things can draw rage out of him for absolutely no reason. This man is unpredictable in his callousness, yet they all seem to have similar traits. It’s as though they went to school to learn how to be the most obnoxious person walking around on the street.
If D-Bag University was a thing, what would the courses of study be? These Reddit users have the answer.
Get Out of Jail Free Card
I Got 99 Problems but the Law Ain’t One: How to tell everyone your dad is a lawyer every time you do some stupid/legally questionable stuff (ChankySmurf)
Spatial Awareness – And Why You Don’t Need Any
Key lessons include: Looking in another direction while walking forward or backwards so as to bump into other people, standing still on a crowded sidewalk so that people have to move around you, looking at your phone while walking to minimize awareness. (smack1700)
Leave the Headphones at Home: A guide to enjoying terrible music on public transit.
1,000 Ways to Litter: From cigarette butts to your dog’s poop, the possibilities are endless!
Yelling About Nothing: Whether you’re in a bar or on the street at three AM, let everyone know how cool you are (sdfavefav)
Cutting in Line
I Have Somewhere I Have to Be: Cutting in Line for Beginners (insideoutcollar)
First Lesson – Whenever you do something obnoxious to offend someone, just say “Its just a prank bro!”. It completely negates anything you did! If they don’t accept this, then obviously there’s something wrong with them.
Second Lesson – Why only P***ies re-rack weights at the gym.
Third Lesson – Yelling “Nice t*ts!” at a woman in a public setting is the highest form of flattery. Anyone who gets upset by your bold romantic gesture is obviously a lesbian. (GlastonBerry48)