Prepare to die with laughter
“Not the parent in this situation, but my mom says this is definitely her most embarrassing one. We went to my brother’s basketball game one day. Bleachers were packed. She turned her back for a second to help me with something. Suddenly she hears ‘oh my God!’ And turns around to see my 3 year old sister has stripped down and is running around naked, happily waving her hands shouting ‘weeeee’ in front of 100+ people.” (Auntie_Ahem)
“Not a parent, but my sister was at church one Sunday and our minister did a weekly children’s message to get the kids more involved in the service.
This particular week he was discussing enemies and how we should treat them. He asked all the kids ‘What do we do to our enemies’ and having grown up playing with my brother, which a lot of the time was some sort of pretend army guys sort of thing, she replied ‘WE KILL THEM’.
I imagine my parents were pretty mortified.” (Frotodile)
Living Birth Control
“My niece asked a short man with dwarfism if his penis touched the floor. The week before she had been to a farm and one of the animals had a very long erection that in fact touched the floor. Unfortunately we were in a small elevator at the time going to the 32 floor – nice long ride
I thought my nephew was clapping his hands behind and turned to see what he was so happy about and he was apparently slapping a bald guys head instead. This is the same kid that hid underneath an extremely obese man’s stomach. He sat on his feet and tucked himself in really well
I do not have kids…not gonna do it.” (incrediblecheving)