Subtlety is key
Gay, straight, queer, or other: there’s a lot of people out there who believe that they can definitively determine someone’s sexuality before they even talk to them. Perhaps it’s something in their body language, their facial features, their lingering looks, or even their voice, but these LGBTQ+ Redditors claim that there are little hints that make them certain they’re talking to another person in their community.
While not everyone’s gaydar is spot-on, these guys seem to have it all figured out.
I can’t speak for others, but my so-called gaydar is merely a set of skills that I use so I can avoid awkward situations with straight men, when possible.
I tend to notice someone’s general composition initially. Things like what they’re wearing or how groomed their hair is. It’s not a guarantee, but I’ve noticed gay men tend to dress well and are generally more concerned about their appearance. Then again, I’ve been with gay guys who couldn’t match socks, let alone outfits. A bit of a stereotype, but it’s somewhat reliable.
One thing that has always been a good indicator to me is the use of empathy or emotion in everyday conversations. I’ve noticed that most straight guys I encounter tend to be a lot more reserved with their emotions, stoic even; gay men are usually not, unless they’re nervous. There have been a few exceptions here and there, but it’s always been a useful method for me. (Vox_Verus)
The only times I can tell are when it’s people who want you to know. It’s common among LGBT people to present themselves a certain way as a visual cue so it makes it easier to flirt and seek people out. I have no way of telling if someone doesn’t want it to be known. (cutietomlinson)
I’m not very flamboyant at all but I try to wear at least an earring (right ear only not that most people care or notice that bit). I also own some colored t-shirts that some straight guys wouldn’t wear I guess but it’s really hard to do anything that says “I’m gay” and isn’t just fake or desperate. (Citadelvania)
I just want to say that it is so hard to hit on women as a bi woman.
Tell a girl I find her attractive? “Oh girl you look so good in those jeans too.” NO WAIT.
Ask a girl on a date? “Sure let’s go ahead and get Becky so we can get some lunch as a girls day out.” HOMO INTENDED SUSAN OKAY.
Tell them that I am interested in them romantically? “Oh you are so sweet to me, you don’t have to compliment me so much. “JESSICA PLEASE I WOULD LIKE TO DATE YOU.
Consequently I usually find that the ones who actually get the homo intended are the ones that either are lgbt or tight with the community so that’s how I find out. (VelociraptorNom)