I Speak That...
Not many people in the world can speak more than one language. The ability to do so is so rare that most people are never expecting another person to be able to do it. People will talk smack in a different language, not thinking that the person they’re talking about can understand them. These situations gave these bilingual people some pretty interesting stories.
I knew a policeman in the UK who was half Algerian, and though he really didn’t look it, spoke fluent Arabic. He told me his best story was when he arrested some other drunk teenagers who were, lo and behold, Algerians from the same community.
They clearly don’t know he can understand their language, and decide it would be funny to use every swearword in the Arabic dictionary about this policeman and 18 generations of his family.
This guy says that the most satisfying moment of his entire career is when he’s got these teenagers to the cells, and looks them straight in the eye and says in fluent Arabic “Right, you little sh*ts, I know your mum, and your mum, and your mum, and I’m going to be asking them how you know those words!”
Apparently their faces had to be seen to be believed. (CountZopolai)
Not me, but my SO who is a native Russian speaker: Let me preface with letting you know that he is a big dude with a barrel chest, wide shoulders, a black beard, and he usually wears black and a stoic expression. He looks very intimidating. So he is in a shoe store and this one kid who is maybe 4-5 years old is running all over the place, knocking shoes off the shelf, causing chaos. His mom calls after him in Russian, “You’d better behave yourself or that man will take you away.” (Meaning my SO.) He looks right at this kid and says in Russian with a deadpan face, “I will.” The kid freaks out and runs over to his mom, who is almost doubled over laughing. (lookingforaforest)
Living in Hawaii at the time and at a fancy salon waiting for my then wife. Three young Swiss ladies come in, sit right across from me, and start speaking loudly to one another. It’s a nice place with a quiet atmosphere as they did massages and other spa “stuff”. At first I’m not listening, but it’s a like a TV or radio that’s just loud enough to hear, after a bit you can’t help but to start listening more intently.
Of course, I could only catch every other word because Swiss German to me sounds like they’re chewing on the language, but I could distinctly catch the gist of the conversation and it was pretty raunchy. They were talking about their vacation so far and one of them was telling a story about the guy she went home with from the bar last night and about his penis and how big it was and how good he was at cunnilingus and so on…(continued)