... And he gets around!
The dating and hookup scene has recently undergone a huge change. Instead of meeting people in person at places like bars or clubs, people are meeting one another without even getting out of their pajamas.
But when technology meets dating, does that mean it’s only reserved for the young and hip? Well, this 82-year-old active member of the singles scene in La Belle Province, there’s no reason to stop! What is dating like when you’re well out of being middle aged and when most of your peers have retired and settled down?
This octogenarian was more than happy to share details.
Navigating the World of Gay Dating Apps
Chris Wilson, an octogenerian from Montreal, knows a thing or two about the single life. You may think serial dating and hookups are reserved for 20-somethings with time to kill, but you’d be wrong. Having been out since the early ’70s, Chris has been going strong using dating apps like Grindr, Adam4Adam, and Squirt. Luckily for us, he’s willing to share all of the details about his experience.
Not everyone can say that their entry onto the dating scene started with a spam e-mail, but Chris Wilson can. He told Vice:
“About seven years ago. I think I got some spam, which interested me, and I went to a site called ‘Horny Matches.’ Everyone seemed to be really fake and never around. Then I saw an ad for Squirt. So I started Squirting! About five years ago I was visiting with a friend from Concordia, a hustler, who introduced me to Grindr. Very slowly I looked at it, and it took me a while to get acclimatized.”
After navigating the “various codes” used by those on Grindr, Chris had to deal with a number of men who were rude and offensive to him because of his age. He recalls:
“When I first started on Grindr, there were a number of offensive gay men who would say, ‘What are you doing on this site?’ My response would be that I’m gay, that this is a gay site, and that gays come in all ages and sizes. I would say, ‘I’ve as much right to be here as you, and watch what you say because you’ll be my age soon.’ I don’t pick quarrels with users. Occasionally I see something offensive. If I see something about bestiality I will report it. Generally speaking, the people are more polite lately.”
And, because he’s been in their shoes, he can understand what it’s like to be young on the dating scene. He reveals,
“I’ve seen “no old men” on profiles, or age limits. But I don’t feel threatened or upset by that, because when I was younger I had exactly the same feelings. I didn’t like older guys. I can respect that preference, but people should put it in a way that’s polite and respectful.”
NOT A Sugar Daddy
So what exactly does an octogenarian look for on a site like Grindr? Well, he’s not exactly looking for love. He shares:
“I wouldn’t say [that I’m looking for] romances, because I’m past the stage of looking for that. I have a straight roommate, and we get along very well. But having a handsome straight roommate means I sometimes get horny and restless, and Grindr is good for that. I have four friends-with-benefits situations going on. One is from Sri Lanka—he’s a nurse and comes over to my place every now and then. It’s very relaxing. I met another friend from Lebanon.”
He also shares that he’s “traveled a lot and like men from all over the world.”
Although he mostly spends time on Grindr, he also visits other dating sites. He shares that he visits sites like Adam4Adam and GayRomeo, but they each come with their own problems.
“The problem with GayRomeo is that I’m always being hit on from overseas. I get hit on by guys from India or Jamaica. I think when people see an older guy they think that they can get money out of me, or gain entry to Canada. My profile reads, “Fancy an octogenarian?” Occasionally, someone will ask me what an octogenarian is, and that’s a good filter, so I don’t get together with someone stupid. I also write, “I’m not your daddy, but I could be your dirty old uncle.” That works. It gives them the message that I’m not really into being a sugar daddy—I don’t want to support someone who would become my dependent.”
He shared that the kinkiest experience he had came as a result of sharing a picture of his dog. “Sometimes I show pictures of my dogs,” he told Vice. “Once I was asked about bestiality. I report them right away.”
Even though he’s had a good experience on the dating scene, he has experienced the negativity of dating as an older man. “There’s a lot of ageism in gay society, and I think it’s important people talk about it.” When asked whether any sites offer a senior discount, he shared, “No, not yet.” He also revealed that while Cialis and Viagra work for him, “they’re not necessary.”
So just how much energy does he have to hookup frequently? Well, he shares that he only hooks up about twice a month.
“That’s my batting average. I’m not really a top anymore. With a great deal of persuasion I could be, but mainly I like to give oral or bottom. There are people who are quite happy with that, even with an older person. Sometimes if they had an early experience with an older person, they’re comfortable with it. Some young people aren’t that into their own age group. I’m happy to share my intimacy with them. I love culture, so sometimes I might just go to a concert with someone.”