A Difficult Choice
My step-son has serious issues.
His biological father suffers from a host of mental illnesses and has spent most of his life incarcerated in some way – either in prison or in a mental hospital. My step-son was molested by a friend of the family at a young age. He suffered a traumatic brain injury as a child. All of which left him with some serious challenges.
He had lots of behavioral issues growing up. Lots of anger issues. Poor impulse control. We were constantly taking him to therapists and doctors… Constantly meeting with school officials, teachers, and counselors…
When he hit his teens he got physically large enough that we could no longer force him to do anything he didn’t want to do – which made most therapy and medication impossible. He started refusing to go to school at all. He discovered drugs. He’d routinely disappear for days at a time. He started threatening us to get money for his drugs… Stealing from us when he could… He started having violent and destructive outbursts.
He left home at 16 and he’s been in and out of prison ever since.
We’ve tried to be supportive… Gone to visit him in prison, petitioned judges to send him to treatment or hospitals… We’ve let him crash at our house when necessary, paid for an apartment occasionally, bought him food or clothing more times than I can count… But he’s just incredibly abusive and destructive.
He manipulates everyone he can. When that fails he’ll resort to threats, violence, and theft. It’s impossible to have any kind of “normal” relationship with him. So we’ve had to cut contact with him.
He’s in his 30s now. His brother has refused to talk to him for over a decade. He’s got two kids growing up without their father… And his wife wants absolutely nothing to do with him. (Karfedix_of_Pain)
Cut off child here. My folks severed contact with me when I stopped participating in their religion. It took about five years for them to come around, although I’m still intentionally excluded from time to time because I’m not “worthy.” (EraEnojado)
My son’s paranoid schizophrenia symptoms are triggered by my presence. As a father I wish with every breath that I could talk to him and hug him but he’s better off without me around. It’s the same whether he’s medicated or not. I only wish I could make him understand or feel like he understands why I’m not in his life. (Air_Hellair)