Not everyone was meant to be a parent
When We’re Gone
My daughter was born mentally disabled. I alway tell myself it could be worse, that there are kids who just shake back and forth in wheelchairs… thing is she is happy now but has no concept of death and I can only imagine what it will be like when her mother and I are gone. (Habanero10)
Like You Aren’t There
My father recently told me he never wanted kids, but my mother wanted them. She thought he would love us when we were born.
My father said he would have been happier without kids, without the responsibility. He loved us because he thought it was his duty, not because he felt like he loved us. He also made the agreement with my mother that she would care for us and he would care for the money, so he could escape the house daily. When he was home, he was impatient with us. He also started drinking.
When I was ill, my mother took care of me. When I was worried, my mother talked to me. When I was afraid, my mother hugged me. Now she is the only parent that calls me. My father doesn’t even know when my birthday is or how old I am. I really missed him, and I still do. I kind of wished he never responded to my mother’s wish. (_noway)
Anywhere But Here
Parenthood is just not what I expected it to be. I mean people told me that you have to make sacrifices when you become a parent but because I had never really made any sacrifices before having her, I had no idea what that might entail or feel like. I also thought I wouldn’t mind missing out on all the partying and holidays because I would have the ultimate gift, a child but I have found that also to be untrue. I do mind missing out on the partying and holidays, and therefore I try to cram as much as that in as I can still, which makes my quality time with my child few and far between.
Yes I have her 5 nights a week, I feed her, bathe her, teach her, discipline her, put her to bed but I mean proper quality time I feel she misses out on because sometimes I have no desire as I’d rather be elsewhere.
I feel constantly guilty because I’m not putting my all in to be the best Mommy I could be, how I imagined myself to be and I feel she is missing out. Before I had her I always wanted 3 children, now 1 is enough for me, I don’t want anymore. (emmastewart18)