What's your emergency?
Bless Her Heart
Caller: A deer just swam across the river behind my house.
Caller: Well I am worried it might be cold.
Me:…….Well there is nothing we can do about a deer being cold. Didn’t it run off after swimming the river?
Me: Well ma’am it’s a wild animal and I’d guess it’s going to be fine.
Caller: ok (NodePoker)
I have been in the 911 biz for over 22 years. If a caller starts the call with “I swear I’m not crazy” then you need to buckle up for some insanity. A guy started a call with those words after escaping from his apartment and running to the closest 7-11. He swore that his roommates were turning into giant crabs. The was going to show the officers that they were currently in giant cocoons transforming. As you might expect he was tripping balls. (erczilla)
A Hard Call
Friend of the family just retired as a 911 operator and she once had a call from an older lady who was in a panic, she had slipped her husband a Viagra, without telling him and he had the longest erection either of them could remember, the wife was nearly in tears, worried she might cause her husband a heart attack.
The husband was laughing his ass off in the background, trying to calm his wife, saying things like “I bet you didn’t think the old buck still had it”, and she would keep yelling at him to stop strutting around, he was going to have a heart attack.
They immediately despatched an ambulance but after talking with the wife realised she had no reason at all to assume her husband was having a heart attack and in fact she was panicking for nothing, after checking him out, the first responders left and the poor old lady was chastised for slipping the pill and apparently was mortified that everyone knew about her sex life. The husband was happy, cracking jokes and laughing the entire time. (agaric)