The pressure is on...
Stabbed the Dad
When I had just turned 18, I started dating a girl who’s dad was a wannabe bada*s (from the stories she said before I met him and the time I spent with him afterward.).
I should add that I carried around a push dagger. I wasn’t 21 and couldn’t carry yet, so I thought if I needed anything, I’d at least have a push dagger. I took some classes and was pretty dangerous with it, practicing at home when I could.
So I was supposed to meet my girlfriend and her parents for dinner after work. So I came around in my work clothes and her dad took me on a tour of his garage to see his restored GTO and gun collection. I had been through this before with my high school girlfriend, but I wasn’t expecting him to pull out a gun and put it in my face.
I grabbed my push dagger and hit him in the stomach while I pushed his arm out of the way, disarmed him, and held him at gun point with his own gun while I called the cops. It was all so quick and kind of instinctual. Girlfriend and mom came in, mom screamed.
After a couple days of him hating my guts, he finally apologized. Said that it was his fault for putting a gun in my face. Never once questioned my intentions with his daughter or my ability to protect her when we were out. [deleted user]
All the Noise
When I was in college I had IBS (irritable bowel syndrome). Every time I ate a meal, I had to poop afterwards. Sometimes, they were violent and uncontrollable.
Fast forward to my senior year. I travel down to Florida to visit my girlfriend and her very proper family (I’m from Ohio). She grilled me on table manners, what to say, what not to say, all that stuff. Well, I had been acing the entire trip. Her mother liked me. I watched the Rose Bowl with her step dad (Texas vs USC), he was stoked that he could finally talk football with someone. Her little brother and sister? Wrestling around with them in no time.
Then, her mother decided to cook a ‘traditional’ meal one night. Halfway through the meal it hits me: a stage five poop just dropped into my bowels.
I politely excuse myself and find the bathroom furthest from the dining room. It didn’t matter. The house was ranch style with stone floors and a layout perfectly enhancing the acoustics of what was about to happen.
Once I returned to the table her mother asks,”Was it my cooking?” We spoke about my IBS for the rest of dinner. (Walter_Sobchak07)
Closer Than You Think
My wife and I started dating in our twenties, but we had known each other since high school. I went over to her parent’s house for dinner after we had been dating for about a month. I’m talking to her dad and brother-in-law and less than five minutes into the conversation he looks at me and says with a big smile, “We’re related you know.”
We live in a small town and this was always a big fear of mine. My then future father-in-law explained how his grandmother and my great-grandfather were brother and sister or something like that. My brother in law still gives me shit about it almost ten years later. (Sloth7676)