The caper on rye
The office kitchen or cafeteria is a sacred space.
Do you bring food to work or buy lunch every day? Do you spend time in the kitchen at the office, chatting with coworkers, or do you eat quickly and quietly at your desk to avoid all social interaction? Maybe your office doesn’t even have a full kitchen, but rather a small nook with a sink, coffee pot, and microwave.
For those that treat weekday lunches as BYO, things can get pretty intense, and unspoken rules as to what goes and what does abound. Tuna? Watch it. Salad? Go for it. Smelly foods? Get out of here. An innocent sandwich? Right on point.
But what would you do if you went to grab your lunch from the fridge, even a tiny little sandwich, only to find that it was gone?
Though it seems more like the plot of an office sitcom or some middle school treachery, office food thefts do happen. But we’ve never seen one as bad as this…
Bring on the Passive Aggressive
One person at this office had one-too-many sandwiches stolen before they had enough.
The passive aggressive battle of the notes began:
“To the person who keeps stealing my sandwiches (Turkey and Swiss with mayo on rye), This is ridiculous. We are all full-grown adults, not children. Please take responsibility for your actions and stop stealing other people’s property!!!”
The Thief Replies
“Dear Turkey and Swiss on Rye, I have your precious sandwich, it’s safe. For now. Put 10 dollars on the plate in the fridge or you’ll never see it undigested again.”
“Dear Sandwich Thief, Please grow up and just return my sandwich! this is very unprofessional! If I ever find out who’s doing this I won’t hesitate to CONTACT HR!!”
Bit by Bit
But even the threat of HR didn’t stop the thief.
“Dear Turkey and Swiss, For every hour you continue to refuse my demands I’ll remove another bite of this sandwich. Please take this seriously. We are professionals, after all. -Sandwich Thief”
That’s when HR stepped in…