Back five or six years ago, my mom got an iPad and it was the treasure of the household. She didn’t let anybody use it but always kept in her room on a charger, mostly because she’s technologically inept. One day my 7 year old brother was secretly playing candy crush on it when he heard my mom coming up the stairs. Not wanting to get caught with the iPad he put it back on her nightstand plugged in and hid under the bed.
What he failed to notice at the time was that not only was my mom coming up the steps, but my dad also. (My dad at the time was close to 300lbs, since then he’s lost over 55 lbs). They open the door, jump on the bed, and proceed to do it with my little brother under the bed. Due to the weight of my dad and mom on the bed, his head was slammed into the ground with every thrust. Poor kid had to endure that for several minutes, and had to wait for the two of them to go to the bathroom so he could make his escape. He doesn’t like to talk about it to this day and I don’t think he’s told my parents about that. All he wanted was to play some candy crush (jp1688)
My daughter came home one evening smelling a bit like weed. I went through her room the next day while she was in school (I wanted to pinch a joint). I didn’t find any weed but I did find a butt plug in a “used” condition. (lewskuntz)
Up to Something
Not even really prying but…
Came home from work early one day and heard the shower running in the bathroom my 17 year old son uses. Then heard some decidedly loud um… “sounds of enjoyment” from a female.
Figuring none of wanted to deal with the embarrassment of an interruption, I retreated to the living room. About 15 minutes later my son and his girlfriend come downstairs and are quite surprised to see me already home.
Figuring this would be a good time to twist the knife a little I said, “So, what were you guys up to in the bathroom? Together?”
My son stammered out, “Well we uh had been in the pool and wanted to wash off the chlorine and we were in a hurry so we went in together – but we kept our bathing suits on!!”
Then his girlfriend looked at him like he was the world’s biggest idiot and said, “That’s what you’re going to go with?”
He looked at her and said, “Yep. That’s what happened.”
She looked at me and said, “Okay. We’re going with his story.”
I told them it sounded reasonable. (ralanprod)