Get a load of this guy!
Working in sperm bank requires a lot of things. You have to be nonjudgemental, comfortable with stranger’s bodily fluids, have good customer service skills, and quite a bit of patience. Oh yeah, and all the sciencey stuff. The payoff is that you get to help produce life by supplying people with a necessity to create a tiny human to love and cherish.
And donors? They don’t take semen from any scrub that walks in to the clinic. To donate, the male has to be healthy and fit, between 18 and 45 years old, and must undergo frequent testing. From television and movies, must of us know how the sperm is collected — the donor goes into what is called (in the U.S.) a “masturbatorium,” which contain adult videos, magazines, etc. to help them along.
Of course there are many things that happen in and out of those masturbatoriums. Ready to hear the gross real life stories?
Not a sperm bank worker, but I was a nurse that had to deliver sperm to the sperm bank wing of the hospital. This really creepy looking guy was there to donate. I was wheeling the trolley containing the tubs of sperm and I passed him in the hallway. The guy stood in front of the trolley and leaned over it. He took a big sniff then ran his finger along the lids. I was telling him to leave when he whispered to me “shhhhh, the babies are sleeping” so definitely one for the history books (Francisredface1)
200 Kids and Counting
Not a worker but a former long term sperm donor. It was a great way to make money when I was younger and I was already going to jerk it for free anyways. Well I become a preferred client and I signed a contract to donate for long periods of time. I want to say they started me out at 6 months and then 18months. Well several years down the road and a few sperm banks later I’m walking in to donate as usual and I get asked to sit down in this conference room with an administrator and a doctor.
I had no idea what was going on but had it explained to me that there had been an oversight with my contract and that they were willing to buy me out on the spot. After a bit more talking apparently my sperm had been used so often they said that while they were under no legal obligation to stop me from donating or taking it from that matter they had an ethical obligation. I could never get them to tell me an exact number or even a remote figure but I got an idea and it frightened me. I made a joke about having 200 children and the doctor make an upward gesture with his hand before the administrator shoved his hand down. It wasn’t so much the gesture as it was the manner in which he did it and the serious look on his face. Then it was explained to me that they could use 1 sample multiple times so the potential is quite massive.
They bought me out on my contract, for three times the agreed upon amount (for 18 months of donations) up front with the agreement I would not donate sperm again, anywhere in the US. I understand you guys might be wondering where the awkwardness comes in, it comes in when my kids get old enough to date.. what about me dating younger girls when I get older? Yeah.. Always going to be on my mind. (Josh_Thompson)
Put it on the company card
Not exactly relevant, but they according to my husband they had double penetration interracial gangbang porn on the TV when he went into the little room to do his business. I expected them to have some porn obviously and I’m glad they are taking care of their clientele, but it was a bit more hardcore than I would have guessed. (ntmg)
Interracial? How extreme! (spacklemore)