To die will be an awfully big adventure
The reason why life is so exciting is because we know that it will end.
No matter who you are, what you did or failed to do in life, no matter your job, wealth, or influence, you will die one day. And that’s just the way it is.
Most of us would like to live long, healthy lives and then die in our sleep at an old age, but sadly, many of us will die unexpectedly or suffer along the way. While advancements in technology and medicine can improve quality of life for all ages, when you finally die, your body returns to simply being a dead organism, no longer affected by your personality, brain, or even soul. You are flesh, blood, organs, and fat, and we leave it in the hands of a trusted few to properly prepare you for burial, cremation, or the afterlife.
Sadly, once our own bodies are out of our control, some creepy and embarrassing things can still happen, and there’s nothing we can do about it. Which of these will happen to you?
You turn into soap
Think before you shower—under the right conditions, your body can transform into soap after you’ve died.
Okay, so not that soap that keeps us squeaky clean. But in the unfortunate case of Wilhelm von Ellenbogen, who died in 1792, a leaky casket allowed water and alkaline soil to gradually turn his body waxen via a process called saponification. Let’s just say it was a highly unpleasant surprise for construction workers in Philadelphia when they found him in 1875.
You become food
We may be familiar with the concept of a squeaky-clean morgue thanks to TV and movies, but in reality, this is a case by case story. Dead bodies become food to many different things in the environment, and unfortunately they can’t fight them off. This was sadly (and disgustingly) the case in several infamous morgues, including Providence Hospital in Washington, D.C., which made headlines for terrible conditions, including maggot and rat infestations or literal stacks of dead and decomposing, often unclaimed bodies.
The second you’re gone, the feast begins.
Yes, I know what you’re thinking. What a beautiful name! I can’t wait to have angel lust after I die!
Unfortunately for men, angel lust—often associated with death by hanging—is also known as a “death erection,” and it’s the unfortunate priapism by which your member simply won’t go down after your death. The mortician gets to deal with that later!