"Smash the Matriarchy!" — Alternate Universe Me
Given the veritable war that Republican legislators have been waging against women’s bodies over the past all-of-human-history, it’s understandable that some women’s rights activists have stepped forward to imagine a world where the opposite was true—and to a really effective end. Somehow pointing out the what it might look like if women tried to restrict men’s bodies the way that men try to restrict women’s illuminates the complete absurdity of the endeavor… So, we tried our hand at it!
Male Birth Control Trial
First of all, that trial for male birth control that was killed earlier this year because of side effects?
That would have 1) happened decades ago and 2) the method would have had much worse side effects and gotten approval anyway.
It’s a baby, not an orgasm
Men, you can forget about having alone time, because any wasted sperm could theoretically be your future child. You’re really going to murder all of those potential babies just for your pleasure and happiness? You monster.
Hardee’s is Right
The burger chain, Hardee’s, would use scantily clad men to sell their burgers because who doesn’t love some rock-hard abs with their fast food?