The Internet at the Speed of Thought

How to Avoid Toilet-Phobia at the Office

at3:36 pm | By

Don’t Let Bathroom Anxiety Constipate Your Workday!

Humans are so weird when it comes to our feelings about going to the bathroom. Everybody does it, but nobody likes to talk about it, and when the rare person comes along that’s completely comfortable with potty talk, we consider them inappropriate and weird.

We even feel a twinge of shame when our dogs have to go number two on the sidewalk, even though the whole point of the walk was to let the pooch poo! Trust me, your dog isn’t feeling self-conscious in the moment.

But still, social stigmas will be social stigmas, so when your bowels beckon in your over-caffeinated, under-bathroomed office, you probably dread making that trip to the toilet more than any other aspect of your workday. Finally, we have a solution for you.

This comprehensive guide is based on years of data collection and personal anecdotes that have been compiled to create the ultimate guide to surviving awkward toilet encounters at the office. So what are you waiting for?

image of a urinal with a painting of two amused women hanging directly above it


Keep Reading to find out how to make Toilet-phobia a thing of the past!

Tip 1: Know When To Go

awkward penguin meme. Caption:


The average employee arrives at the office between 8:45 and 9:10, grabs a cup of coffee, and drinks it while reading through a mountain of morning emails. With the entire employee base well-caffeinated, you can bet that 10 AM is just about the worst time you could possibly make a mad rush for the restroom.

Try drinking your coffee on the train or before you leave the house, that way, you can beat the bathroom rush when you get there. Or, try drinking a bunch of water to wake you up in the morning and dose yourself with caffeine later than the norm.

Tip 2: Locate A Low-Key Loo

Meme of man in handicapped bathroom. Caption:


If you’re still waiting in line outside the bathrooms in the dead-center of the office, you’re doing it all wrong. Find an alternative bathroom that’s less likely to be crowded (or better yet, one that’s completely unknown). Many office buildings have a service corridor on every floor, many of which contain a restroom or two. If you can figure out how to get there, you may never have to poo publicly again.