The Internet at the Speed of Thought

How To Spend Valentine’s Day Alone

at5:09 pm | By

Single? Well I hope you’re not whining about it because being single is awesome. You can stay out as late as you want, flirt with whomever, decorate your apartment the way you like it, there’s nobody else’s mess you have to clean up and so many other positives. I love being single. Except for that one day a year: Valentine’s Day, when society makes sure you feel alone and unloved.

To be honest, I hated Valentine’s Day even when I was in relationships. Restaurants jack up their prices and have slow service because it’s so crowded. Cheap crap made in China doubles in price. Unscented red roses for basic broads triple in price. You get chocolates that taste awful because they came from the drugstore last minute. You are pressured to have good sex. It’s way too much for my laziness level. So you shouldn’t feel bad that you don’t have a Valentine because there’s plenty of other singles feeling the same way you do on February 14th.


Credit: Syda Productions/Shutterstock

Here’s a guide on what you can do this Valentine’s Day if you are single.

Save money. Or spend it.


I for one am thankful I don’t have to come up with a crappy gift that’s overpriced. I already waste too much energy on birthdays and Christmas for people I barely like. Save money by not disappointing someone else and spend that noise on yourself. Buy some nice clothes (everyone needs new underwear, especially boys who keep boxers for like ten years), a bottle of not crappy wine or even a sex toy for those lonely nights (which are readily available on Amazon – dat Prime shipping, doe).

Party down!


Clean up your dump of an apartment (you can do this quickly by shoving everything into a closet and letting your future self deal with it). Invite other single friends over and make them bring their single friends. You can all make fun of the miserable couples you know. And you might even get lucky!