The Internet at the Speed of Thought

If Santa Was A Woman, Could She Do The Job?

at4:45 pm | By

Can Your Kids Picture a Female Santa?

little girl in christmas sweater

Source: YouTube @Anomaly #morewomen

Feminism just took a giant snowball in the face.

When you think about it, it turns out this whole Santa narrative is rough from the female prospective, or any of our Christmas favorites. After all, who are the stars of the holidays? Santa, Rudolph (and his 7 other male reindeer), the Grinch, Frosty, Ebenezer Scrooge, Krampus, Jesus, Jack Frost, and so on and so forth. Unless you’re birthing a miracle child, Marilyn Monroe asking for “a duplex and checks,” or baking cookies for your fat husband to come home to after he’s finished a vastly impossible task, there’s not a lot of room for you in the holiday canon as a female. Humbug!

If you don’t believe us, just watch this upcoming video. In an attempt to gain some perspective on how kids view the Mr. VS Mrs. Claus dynamic, they asked children whether they thought a woman in a big, red power-suit could accomplish Santa’s very large bill of holiday tasks. The resounding answer was a big, fat, jiggly NO…

But worse than the NOs are the reasons why it’s more difficult to make believe that it couldn’t be an Old Saint Nicole.

Remember, the more your SHARE the more aware people will be!

A female Santa would get “lost in the sky”

kids talk about santa

Source: YouTube/Anomaly #morewomen

At least her ego wouldn’t prevent her from asking for directions at the nearest gas station!

She’d have to go to the gym first

little girl in christmas sweater

Source: YouTube/Anomaly #morewomen

I’m not sure what sort of in-shape male Santa anyone’s picturing. Can you imagine him trying to crawl up the chimney with that “bowl full of jelly”?