The Internet at the Speed of Thought

People Reveal the Dumbest Rumors They’ve Ever Heard About Themselves

at 2:40 pm | By

That Prosthetic Though

rumors chainsaw


LoveRage: That I had my arm chopped off by a chainsaw!

I used to work as a barman at Uni and as a favour one night I covered a shift for a friend in a really rough pub in a dodgy part of town. At that time I used to have long hair down to my shoulders and as I walked into the pub before I could even get behind the bar a local shouted that I needed my hair cut. I joked with him and asked if he was willing to do it for me, he shouted back he’s got a chainsaw and is willing to do it with that. Thinking he was just kidding I told him to go get it and I’d let him give me a trim [….] Moments later the guy comes back into the pub waving around a roaring chainsaw and screaming “It’s time for a trim!” Everyone else in the pub is laughing and I was truly sh*tting myself. I told him if he put the chainsaw down I’d buy him a drink to which he agreed. He left the pub, put the chainsaw away and came back in for his free pint [….]

Months later I was asked if I heard about the barman who was attacked with a chainsaw in the pub I’d done a shift in. Apparently he’d upset a local, the local has gone crazy, gone at him with a chainsaw and he’d lost an arm. Once I’d checked that there wasn’t another incident I realised the story was about me and […] people had retold the story enough that it now ended up with me losing an arm.

In Loving Memory

rumors in memoriam candles


NoHOeMOE510: Not about me but my friend. He went to Mexico for a few weeks during high school so a few of us told everyone he got deported and was executed by the cartel. He came back to find a memorial of himself at the entrance of the school.

Pika Pika

rumors girl in pikachu costume


Aqua_Duck: Ex girlfriend spread around her job that I used to make her dress up like pikachu when we had sex. One of her Coworkers worked with me at another job and told me that rumor, it backfired on her because no one believed her and they called her “pika” until she moved off