The Internet at the Speed of Thought

Real People With Work Lives MUCH More Exciting Than Yours

at 7:26 pm | By

They say the gym is all about blood, sweat and tears…

weird guy at the gym

Source: Imgur/TheEy3ofRa

I worked at a gym that would do anything to sign up new members. As part of the out-reach promotions, members of the sales team would regularly head out into the city to hand out free one-day passes, with the hope of converting them once they had their details on file. One day a homeless guy comes in with a pass. We couldn’t say no and he headed inside to use the showers – fair enough. The changing rooms were checked hourly, as were the showers; and it was during these checks that a member of my team noticed blood trailing into the shower gutter. On checking, the homeless guy had taken his opportunity of a free shower to treat himself to a DIY pedicure, as he sat carving the hard skin off his feet with a razor blade. (scallycinnamon)

Despite popular belief, the customer is NOT always right

cinnamon rolls

Source: Imgur/mommystorms

I used to work in a Cinnabon at a mall. One evening a guy walked up to the front counter, whipped his dick out and started pissing all over a glass display case, smiling like an idiot the entire time, then tried to deny what he’d done and order a drink. Like most mall food places the front counter was the front of the store so this was happening out in the midst of all the mall’s foot traffic, though I should probably let everyone know we weren’t in the food court. The guy got arrested, in case you were curious. (schnit123)

Happy Xmas, War is NOT over!

jarhead gif

Source: Giphy

Deployed in Afghanistan. I was in the shower when all of a sudden we were being hit by incoming mortars. One of the mortars landed so close and loud that I didn’t think twice about grabbing a towel. I ran straight to the nearest bunker and apparently I wasn’t the only one that reacted the same way. So here I am with 10 other people completely nude. Everyone was hiding their goods and not even so much as a giggle was heard. Slowly but surely, hands were growing weary, fear of another mortar attack had subsided, and the laughing started. Eventually, nobody cared that they were being seen in the nude by the opposite sex. Boobs and cocks were all over the place and it was the first time in 8 months since I’ve seen so much as a side boob. The mental images from that incident had held me over for the duration of the deployment. We got the “all clear” to exit the bunker and everyone went about their business. Made a lot of close friends that day. (jrpopbelly)