The Internet at the Speed of Thought

Sarah Silverman Wants Men to Ultrasound Their Balls Before Doing This…

at 6:03 pm | By

Sperm Smell

sarah silverman masturbation brady bear awards

Credit: Kevin Winter/ Getty Images

In 1992, a study was published that revealed that sperm do indeed possess a sense of smell that allows them to track down fertile eggs.

According to Silverman, this is grounds to count each sperm cell as a living organism that deserves the same integrity as fertilized eggs, thus making it target of the same legislation that has dictated what women can and cannot do with their bodies.

Her suggestion? “What we’ll do is— it’s a real simple procedure. We take a really long needle-like basically GoPro camera and we put it down your penis hole, urethra… then down into your testicular sack. We’re going to show you the ultrasound, so you can see the life in your balls.”

She takes her approach from the 24 states that make a woman get an ultrasound in the 24 hours before her abortion as a last attempt to have her change her mind. So, could this ever work?

Here are the counter arguments…


sarah silverman masturbation opening envelope

Credit: Kevin Winter/ Getty Images

Do you agree with Sarah’s proposal? At the very least, it’s a humorous way to look at the issue of how men are still controlling women’s bodies so far into the 21st century, especially in terms of reproductive rights, while so eagerly spilling their own seed.

Whether or not you think the Bible or other religious texts condemn masturbation will come down to what you’ve been taught, what you’ve read and the way you interpret said texts. But society’s obsession with reproduction comes down to our religious, social and instinctual need to procreate and further extend our species. Women have, however, been given the unfair burden of carrying and birthing children, especially in circumstances where they do not wish to do so—which many modern laws sadly ignore.

Then again, masturbation, while typically voluntary, may be more akin to a woman’s period, given that an egg or sperm by themselves do not a child make. Either way, Silverman’s theory is sure to have men headed for the hills.

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