The Internet at the Speed of Thought

Bacon-Scented Underwear Exists and Life Has Officially Peaked

at 4:10 pm | By

Bacon Armor

bacon armor

Source: J&D’s Foods

According to J&D’s website, “The three most dangerous activities in the world are:

1. Underwater cage fighting with great white sharks
2. Bungee jumping into a live volcano, and
3. Cooking bacon naked”

While they can’t do anything to help with the first two, though, the company came up with the perfect safety measure for the third — and arguably most dangerous — task. Introducing the Naked Bacon Cooking Armor, which will protect your bits from burning for just $14.99.

For the Man in Your Life

bacon underwear men

Source: J&D’s Foods

Ah, yes, the reason you probably came here in the first place: bacon-scented underwear. If you’re the type of person whose pants come off the minute they walk in the door, or the type of person who thinks about bacon at all hours, then these are the boxer-briefs for you, and at $19.99, they’re a steal!

But you’ve been warned, the website urges customers not to wear this novelty underwear in the following circumstances:

-If you have a large dog with razor sharp teeth, please do not fall asleep in J&D’s Bacon Scented Underwear.
-J&D’s Bacon Scented Underwear is not recommended for people in the following professions: mail carriers, zookeepers, veterinarians, dog catchers and walkers, and circus performers (especially lion tamers).
-If you are hiking in the woods where bears are known to roam, please do not wear Bacon Scented Underwear without also carrying a firearm.

For the Woman in Your Life

bacon underwerar women

Source: J&D’s Foods

And finally, a sexier pair of lovely, bacon-scented underwear for the special woman in your life. Urging you to “stop and smell the bacon,” these sizzling unmentionables only cost $19.99 and will last you up to six months or even a year based on how regularly you wear them, wash them, and the “strength of your own scent.”

Don’t forget to check out J&D’s Foods site for more amazing bacon novelty items, and SHARE this article!